Thursday, January 5, 2012

366: 4 & 5

January 5, 2012
I listen to this song on my blog, "Here with me" by Mercy me…The song goes onto say, "I surrender to your Love" …Meaning JESUS’ Love…It’s easy when it’s something small, isn't it, but the big stuff? Hmm, a little tough…

What does surrender really mean?  Does it mean to give up temporarily?  A little bit? Sometimes? Once in a while? Do I do it?  Today I had to found out how to…And here it is…

My story…My Trinity…My Lovely…

She has been doing awesome…I mean awesome!! Just 3 days ago, not so awesome…She had a little bit of rattling in her nose...It was just there rattling away in her nose and sometimes stuck in her throat so she would gag or cough…So needless to say, we had some rough nights…When  she needed to eat, she had a hard time because she couldn’t breathe, so she wasn’t eating much..She really was not herself and I didn’t like that…At one point, I called the 24hr. cardiologist that was on call to get peace of mind that is was not heart related…He said he didn’t think so…Whew!

I went to her cardiologist appointment today…The Dr. is real cool…They love Trinity so much, she’s like a celebrity when I go to her visits, because she is so small and has a pacemaker...And of course, I dress her so stinking cute, you can’t resist looking at her…I get comments all the time…I love it!! I think I kind of like the attention she brings me...HA!  Kidding….

So as you can see in the photo she was getting her EKG… It’s normal for her condition…Then, I bring her into see the cardiologist and he starts the sonogram on her..Her heart is not pumping strong enough, and it needs too…Since she had that nose thing her heart has been working harder…Her heart is bigger than it should be at this point…Her left ventricle is larger than normal, the muscle is very thin, and is more like a sponge…Her pacemaker needs to be bigger, but since she is so small they can’t put a bigger one in until she is bigger…They are worried if she has any heart distress before she is big enough for the other pacemaker…
ME:  Well, what does that mean if she has heart distress 
        before the bigger pacemaker?  
DR:  That will mean she will possibly have to get a heart 
ME: ___________________________________________

I didn’t hear anything after that…I well up in tears, trying to contain myself from sobbing like a baby out loud because I want to hear about her condition…I collect myself, and continue to ask questions… The bottom line to this whole thing is, she has to stay healthy so that when she is bigger (before she is 1 yr old) she can get a bigger pacemaker to make her heart work the way it needs to...Prayerfully!!

When I came home I got really choked up…My husband already knew because we spoke on the phone…But, my boy Matt overheard us talking and said, 

MATT:  “Is she going to die”?
ME:      (choking up) “No, not right now”…You need to pray 
            her heart gets better…
MATT:  “Can I give her mine”?
ME:      ____________________________________________

Selfless…I pray I can be…..

So here it is, my prayer request, chain, whatever it is I need to do…Please, please, please, please, please put our girl on your prayer list…Pray for her…Keep her in your prayers…
Don’t forget about her…Each month I will bring her to her visits and I will post an update…Her heart needs to stay the same or get better in order for them to replace her pacemaker…Or pray the LORD will heal her completely…

Thank you all for reading this…Please pass this along to anyone you know will pray to JESUS for HIS healing if HE wills…We are at peace because we know HE is in control…
And we know no matter what happens, glory will be to HIS name!!! I thank JESUS for putting Trinity in our lives no matter the outcome…

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you....James 1:27


  1. As I sit here choked up and convicted, I want you to know I will pray for your precious girl.For me, the Lord says a certain verse or story in the bible 2 or more times in a matter of days, from different venues, to get my attention on a matter of my heart. Your verse was confirmation for me this week, your's being the 3rd time.Thank you for reminding me of the power of prayer and keep being a great "mama bear" and warrior for your daughter. I will have you covered in prayer! Blessings, Sandie

  2. I am a little behind on blog reading. I will be praying for you, your family, and the baby.

  3. We are praying over here....
    Oh, my gosh, Matt, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
    You and your family are faithful servants of the Lord Jesus!

  4. Then Jesus took her by the hand and called, "Get up, little girl!" And at that moment her life returned and she jumped up! "Give her something to eat!" He said. Her parents were overcome with happiness, but Jesus insisted that they not tell anyone the details of what had happened. {Luke 8:54-56} I am praying in agreement with you, Denise and Ray, for the complete healing and restoration of the heart of little Trinity! With faith, hope, and trust in our Lord Jesus, our Savior heals. Thank you, Jesus, for re-creating the heart of Your little girl, Trinity, to full function. Hallelujah! Nothing is too hard for you, Lord !

  5. Praying... for your heart and hers.

  6. The picture of your precious Angel is going right up on the fridge and I will keep her in my prayers. Your son Matt, he is incredible. A child's heart and mind are amazing. Prayers from Las Vegas on the way to you and your family.

  7. May the Lord be with you and comfort you in this time of worry and fear. Lean on him and know that Trinity and your family will be lifted up in prayer.Love you guys!

  8. We are praying for all of you to have His strength through this, and are praying that the Lord will use your little girl (whom I didn't even know about... how out-of-touch am I???)for His glory and that she will be the light for Him like she so obviously is to your family. Love you guys!

  9. Your son has a heart of gold. That was beautiful. I pray that your little girl is healed.