Tuesday, February 28, 2017

If I Perish....I Perish....

So we are done with our part with taking classes for this kinship/foster care stuff…We still have to get a home inspection to be licensed so we can communicate and get information about these littles…Ugh, such a long process…Technically, I’ve been waiting for four years for this to happen…Sometimes on the edge of my seat waiting to see what the Lord was going to do with it…I prayed and asked God to close the door as a “sign” to us if we shouldn’t press on with the process, thinking the closed door would be His will not to adopt...I’ve learned that closed doors are not always from God, A closed door is just a closed door, or other times it can be the enemy, who doesn’t want you to go where Jesus leads you…Apparently, any of the closed doors that closed over the past four years were not a “sign” that we shouldn’t adopt because we are still walking through doors…Man, I typed the word “doors” a lot..Ha! 

All kidding aside, what a Faithful God…Sign or no sign it’s obviously we are to press on…I don’t really know what will happen…What I do know is, my desire will always be to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus, and this Christian life to walk as Jesus did, is my purpose!!


Even when we are in a season of doing the same things day in and day out, God has something for us around the corner, because HE wants to grow deeper with us…He’s always ready, yet patient…It may be something we least expected,  but none the less, any trial He has allowed to cross your path has been worth the depth you and I now have with the Lord...I love, love, love how He sets up the next step even when we don’t see it coming or we think it’s gone forever...I’m so thankful to Him for putting the exact scripture verses and books in my path for me to see what the next deeper steps are in our relationship…Not only for me, but for everyone in my path and for these 2 little sweethearts  I don’t even know…What an awesome God!


That closed door thing I spoke about came from this awesome book I’m reading, “Come With Me” by Suzanne Eller…I never heard of her, but man, oh, man, this book is all about going deeper in your relationship with Jesus, and it has very challenging questions it asks you to ask yourself… I have to admit, sometimes the questions were a little scary…The first question in the intro asks, "What would you say if Jesus walked up to you right now, today, and said 

these words."

Come with Me...
Wherever I lead...
Whatever the price...
Do you say yes?


When I first read it, I actually hesitated for a second thinking about my husband and kids, of course, but only because if they didn’t know where I was, they would worry… And, I do admit, my heart stopped because on what Jesus meant it would be possible for me to never see my husband or kids again…Not a hug goodbye or a kiss, nothing...Ugh, that hurts a little, but, for me, it’s an astounding YES!!!! I’ll follow you anywhere, Jesus! I’m outta here, people!!! Ha!


The next section in this book talked about not missing out on our greatest opportunity and talked about what if Simon Peter hadn't dropped his nets a second time…What words would describe his story? Perhaps his life would have been described as safe or familiar….A man with salt on his cheeks as he fished all night... A fisher of men? I don't think so.”


It was crazy for me to read "dropped his nets a second time" because I feel we will be dropping our nets a second time if we adopt these little sweethearts…I know, that I know, that I know, God has something amazing for me, for my family, for all involved…I know, that I know, that I know, this could be discouraging, tiring, and probably down right hard as heck…But God, is all I have to say about that...As my dear friend Ann Pierce reminded me a few weeks ago, "If I perish, I perish.” ❤️



Colossians 2:6-7
And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.  Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017


Wow, I’m shocked, round 2...


So, we are going through the process of becoming licensed foster parents, A-GAIN…Hey, wait, I just noticed that at the word “again” is "a gain”, interesting…After 2 years the court has terminated the birth parents reunification process, not terminate rights,yet…That still has to happen...
What “terminate the reunification process” is, is the court doesn't help the parents anymore  with unifying them with their children…The parents have to 120 days legally to do, ummm, I really don’t know, until the next court date…Since they are out of state this process is different, long, and requires patience...

It’s so frustrating going through all the “channels” of becoming licensed foster parents when you already know what to do as a parent...ANNDD,  we’ve been licensed foster parents already!!
I can understand some of the things they require, but there are so many things that really seem like a waste of time and money…
For instance, when I received the 53-page application to start the process to foster/adopt, question #32 wants to know “how sexually compatible you and your spouse are?” Seriously? Ummmm, very compatible, people!!! Who would put incompatible? It's so dumb, and I don’t care what the reasoning is because there  are 52 more pages filled with questions that should pretty much tell you what kind of people we are… And, in my opinion, it’s all a crap shoot anyway because unfortunately, there are some foster parents out there that are horrible...


Another example of wasting my time and money is, we have to take a car seat class? Um, why? I’ve been clipping car seats in for 14 yrs, I think I know how…I’m sure everyone’s car seat is wrong according to the class, but let’s put it this way, I don’t know all the rules, but I have NEVER clipped my kids car seat in and thought it was to loose…My husband, who has seen many things, in his line of work, would make sure our car seats protect our kids…Speaking of having no kids, the teacher teaching the kinship/foster class has no kids and talks about what we parents need to do to be a parent, but claims she didn’t write the program, but seems to take a lot of pride in something she has no experience in...Even dumber…Now, don’t get your "panties in a wad" and give me a hard time if your reading this and your not a parent or how you get ticked off when people say to you, “ your not a parent, you have no clue.” I’m specifically just talking about this teacher and I say it like that because she’s so confused in her personal life, and she really has no business telling us PARENTS how to parent when she can’t figure out if she has a wife or a girlfriend…She said it was complicated….Ya, think? 


I will say the only thing I like about the class is, knowing there are resources, and the people taking the class...When we tell family and friends what we are doing they seem to be in awe of it, and say things like: “wow”, “that’s crazy”, “really?”, or “that’s awesome.” Ha! I think it’s funny...I'm actually in awe of the people in the class...There's an elderly couple in their 70's, who will be adopting their 4 month old granddaughter! Another couple already raised their 5 daughter and are adopting their 2 nieces...A single mom adopting her 12th grandchild...Now that, is insane to me...
It hasn't personally hit me in a way it's hitting family and friends, and I think I like that, because it keeps my mind clear on hearing from my Lord, which He has been doing, ever so gently...I’ll have to share that next...My BFF Rachel, asked me,  how  I feel about possibly adopting these 2 kids? I really don't know how I'm suppose to feel, I guess...I'm excited, a little nervous, and have  an attitude of, "it is what it is." She called it peace from the Lord, and that I like too…


"Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Monday, February 6, 2017

It's that time, again...






I’m back…But, just for a moment...I think…Ha, I’ll see how it goes…Welp, it’s been almost 3 yrs since I’ve blogged…I guess I’m starting back up because Kim asked me,  ANDDDD I have another journey coming up that’s a pretty, dang, big, deal, I’m told, but it’s not quite sinking in...


So first off,  my Little Lovely, is the most loveliest lovely I’ve ever come across…The Bible talks about "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2…Well, let me tell you, she has conformed to our family like no ones business…Actually she has changed the dynamics of who we were as family, and has made it so much better…She is healthy, beautiful, loving, sweet, adorable, bossy, loud, and most of all, a child born to bring glory to His name…As I’m typing this she is literally screaming on the top of her lungs in song, how "Jesthus died on the c-wross to swave us, yeah, yeah.” Then, she gets ahead of herself and makes up her own language because she so badly wants to sing a full song with words, but she can’t think of them fast enough….


The reason I’m back?  Little Lovely has 2 siblings in foster care in LA county…They are 3 and 4 yrs old…Yeah, you heard it right…I found out 2 yrs ago they were in foster care, I called up, told them who I was, and they have kept my name “on file.” When I found out they were in foster care I wanted them sooooo badly…God is so gracious to me, really He is…I look back today and think to myself, “praise Jesus we didn’t get those babies back then, I was a mess.” Emotionally and spiritually, that is…That’s a whole different story I probably won’t be sharing on my public blog, but, would be willing to share over a cup of coffee…The grace I’m talking about is, God has given me and my family is:  these precious babies are out of state in another foster home…Just imagine if they were in this state… We would be going through the emotional roller coaster we went through with Little Lovely…I’m thankful He cleaned my mess up first…But really, it is oh so worth it on so many levels…


Everything is worth it, isn’t it? This Christian life, or better yet CHRIST Himself…It’s all for His beautiful glory… That’s what life is about for me and my family…CHRIST is worth it, and I'm willing to carry my Cross for His glory...So really, why should I worry about an emotional roller coaster, or my feelings, or my heart or, anything else? He’s got this and He’s got me…


If you think of us, please pray…We need it, I need it…So, so, bad…I need patience, I need wisdom, I need strength, I need prayer on anything God speaks to your heart that I may not see, but He has shown you ...These precious babies are so broken and need so much love and attention…I’m overwhelmed that God would choose us to possibly adopt them…

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.  1 Corinthians 1:18