366-14 & 15

 

Can I even come close to emulate GOD’S love?  

Just a quick update for the ones following my blog…I took my little Lovely to the hospital Friday night because, well, she just wasn’t right…Long story short….They checked her, and then admitted her because her heart was working too hard and they were worried…After 24 hours, she has been poked, jabbed, stuck and finally intubated !!! Her heart is not functioning properly…They are not sure what the problem is just yet…The cardiologist & the pacemaker doctor are trying to figure out if the problem is the pacemaker or her weak muscles in her heart… If it’s the pacemaker, they will put a bigger one in…This wasn’t supposed to happen until she got a little bigger, but they may not have a choice…If it’s her heart….Well…Heart transplant…GOD IS  SOVEREIGN, GOD IS SOVEREIGN…GOD IS SOVEREIGN….I truly know this and as I mentioned before, I am NOT worried when my JESUS is in control…Peace, unbelievable Peace! 

So, that’s the update with Trinity’s health…It’s was more dramatic than your reading, trust me…

Now the other issue…

Trinity’s birth mom is here…As I wept for my little Lovely I get a call from the case worker that Trinity’s mom is in town and wants her baby!   Trinity’s mom is coming to the hospital to see her baby…Trinity’s mom, has to sign a consent form for Trinity to allow the doctors to do what they need to…Trinity’s mom is so young she has a foster mom…

Can you imagine the scene that is about to take place?  Here I am in the hospital caring for MY Lovely, weeping over her, supporting her, loving her, having family and friends come and support me at the hospital, making meals for my family, bringing me food in the hospital, etc. etc. etc…..And then in walks Trinity’s mom…Trinity looks just like her…I introduce myself and walk with her to see her baby…She walks in and weeps!! I comfort her, and tell her to go and touch her baby…She is overwhelmed, I am overwhelmed…What do I do now??????? JESUS! Really, please tell me what I should do?  What do I say?

After we walked out of the room we went to the parents lounge…It was different I have to say…What would I say?? This girl probably never had a chance to feel the love that we so take for granted…I said the only thing I knew to say as I watch her with her hands in her face…”Look at me, JESUS loves you so much and don’t you forget it…JESUS loves Trinity more than you do and HE is in control of this all...Cling to HIM and don’t you let go.” She smiled and then cried, I think she did…I know I was crying and so was Rachel (My BFF) ..

So at this point, I’m so emotionally exhausted… I find out I’m not allowed to stay with my Lovely because Trinity’s mom just got an approval that  she could stay overnight…At first, I was upset, but quickly accepted it…Because, really, she should be there too…I go home and literally attach myself to my family…It felt so good…After resting up, I shower get ready, and head over to now see my Lovely and the mom…Trinity lay there lifeless in her little bed…Trinity’s mom was there in the room watching TV…I came in kissed on Trinity and spoke with Trinity’s mom…She is really soft spoken and sweet…What more can I do?  How long do I stay?  What more do I say?  I asked Trinity’s mom if I could pray with her and she let me…I left, came home, attached myself to my family again and forgot my husband’s 40^TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!  Yes, you heard it I forgot my sweet, loving, husband’s 40^th....

That’s the update….After I post this I’m going back up to see my Lovely with my husband and boys…I wonder what will come of all this….I still ask………..

Can I even come close to emulate GOD’S love?  Boy, is this hard!

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me....Galatians 2:20